i promise i'm still alive and keeping up my happiness project... in one way or another. the fact is, i've added a couple new projects to my life, one of which is very time-consuming. i'm playing the role of sister mary leo in theatre albany's production of "nunsense." i am SO excited about this show. it's my biggest casting so far in my life. i've never had so much to learn for a show- lines, singing, and choreography. we've been practicing for 2.5 weeks now and it's coming along! we open sept 14th, though, so the next few weeks are going to be exhausting!!! i have practice every night except wednesday and saturday. john has band til 6:30 almost every night and my rehearsals start at 7:00, so we haven't seen much of each other during the week. i've tried to be a good wife a couple times and make dinner for him that I could leave on the stove and he could reheat when he got home. me, i've just been eating lot of graham crackers- my latest food obsession!! after labor day i start working with the kids at church after school again and that's going to be really tough. i find that job very draining. there will be two weeks of working 7:15 AM-5:45 PM, then onto play practice @ 7:00 PM until who knows how late.... only on monday and tuesdays though!
the other "project" i've taken on is the albany run/walk club. it's a running group that trains for a half or full marathon using the jeff galloway program. read more here: www.jeffgalloway.com. the last two meetings with arw i ran with a pace group that does 30 seconds of walking and 30 seconds of running. the first week i struggled, but last week i did fine. we did a one mile warm-up, then did our "magic mile." the magic mile is when you individually run a mile as quickly as you can, at about 80% of your maximum effort. i finished the mile is 13 min 14 seconds... pretty slow, but i am proud of it! after the magic mile, we ran/walked another mile for a cool-down. this week we will run 4 miles. the goal is to run the snicker half-marathon in march, but i haven't decided if i'm brave enough for that yet. last saturday after running, my mom and i went down to thomasville to a real running store where they did an assessment of my feet and running style and fit me in some shoes that should help. i'm doing my first solo run in them this afternoon. you're supposed to run twice during the week before running with the group on saturday. i want to make my runs in the morning, but they'd have to be at like 5:00 AM and that's a hard pill to swallow. i may try it tomorrow though. the afternoons in south ga are just too hot for running, most of the time.
i look forward to updating you more soon about my performances in nunsense and running with ARW!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
harmonica happenings.
one of my "resolutions towards happiness" is going back to something i started a LONG time ago, but gave up- playing the harmonica! when i was 10 or 11 i found this book and tape we had called "country and blues harmonica for the musically hopeless." i started going through the lessons and was getting pretty good for an eleven-year-old! then my family heard me and said i was getting good, so... i quit! i'm not sure what was wrong with 11-year-old me, but i guess i had problems doing things that pleased my dad??? so anyway, the point of this blog post is to say that i found an updated version of the same book on amazon today. it now comes with a cd instead of a cassette tape, thank goodness. i ordered an inexpensive harmonica in the key of C, so i will be ready to go once my book gets here!!!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
links.
it only makes sense that i would post the link to gretchen rubin's happiness project! so, here goes:
i'm currently reading another book that i'm hoping will help me maximize my life. it's called "168 hours: you have more time than you think." i first heard about it on the podcast "tranquility du jour." it's great and has some really applicable ideas to help you get the most out of the 168 hours we each have per week.
i'm currently reading another book that i'm hoping will help me maximize my life. it's called "168 hours: you have more time than you think." i first heard about it on the podcast "tranquility du jour." it's great and has some really applicable ideas to help you get the most out of the 168 hours we each have per week.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
new recipes
one of my resolutions is/will be to try new recipes. i've been doing this for awhile, since i moved in with john. one we have liked is ranch chicken. i found it on pinterest. it's basically like corn flake chicken, if you've had that, except with a packet of dry ranch dressing seasoning in the corn flake coating. john likes it a lot.
ranch chicken:
chicken breasts (i used 2 large breasts cut into 4 pieces)
corn flakes
1 package of dry ranch dressing mix
parmesan cheese
butter
crumble a couple cups of corn flakes in a bowl, mix in the package of ranch dressing (i don't use the whole package, because it's a little salty), and about 1/2 cup of grated parmesan cheese. dip each chicken breast into melted butter, then the cornflake mixture, and lay them in a prepared baking dish. pour the leftover cornflake mixture and butter over the chicken. bake for about 30 minutes in a 350 degree oven, or until cooked through.
(obviously this is not an exact science for me. you get the idea.)
i really liked this recipe, but i'm a sucker for carbs, especially when incorporated with cheese! they used to have these appetizers already made in the freezer section at publix and i would get them and eat them for dinner! they stopped making them, so now i'm glad i have this recipe!
bon appetit!
ranch chicken:
chicken breasts (i used 2 large breasts cut into 4 pieces)
corn flakes
1 package of dry ranch dressing mix
parmesan cheese
butter
crumble a couple cups of corn flakes in a bowl, mix in the package of ranch dressing (i don't use the whole package, because it's a little salty), and about 1/2 cup of grated parmesan cheese. dip each chicken breast into melted butter, then the cornflake mixture, and lay them in a prepared baking dish. pour the leftover cornflake mixture and butter over the chicken. bake for about 30 minutes in a 350 degree oven, or until cooked through.
(obviously this is not an exact science for me. you get the idea.)
the new recipe i tried tonight was feta & spinach croissants. it's basically exactly what it says- except there is mozzarella cheese in there with the spinach and feta. the recipe made way more than we needed, so next time i will cut it in half.
2 rolls of pillsbury crescent rolls
4 0z crumbled feta cheese
4 oz mozzarella cheese
3 oz fresh spinach
1 egg white
chop the spinach. mix it with the cheeses in a bowl. roll out the crescent rolls and separate into triangles. put a small amount of the cheese/spinach mixture at the big end of the crescent roll and roll it up towards the small end. brush egg white on the top of each stuffed roll. bake them on a cookie sheet at 350 degrees for 15 minutes or until golden brown.
i really liked this recipe, but i'm a sucker for carbs, especially when incorporated with cheese! they used to have these appetizers already made in the freezer section at publix and i would get them and eat them for dinner! they stopped making them, so now i'm glad i have this recipe!
bon appetit!
my happiness project
i think i may have found a reason to bring my blog back to life. i just finished reading a book called "the happiness project." in the book, the author, Gretchen Rubin, tries to find more happiness in her life by resolving to make improvements in 11 different areas. she chose several specific resolutions to do in each of the 11 areas. she focused on one area each month. by the 12th month, she was attempting to keep all of her resolutions going at one time.
so, inspired by her, i'm developing my own "happiness project." i haven't put it all down exactly the way it will happen, yet. she suggests beginning by answers a set of questions. here are the questions and my answers:
here are some of my resolution ideas:
so, inspired by her, i'm developing my own "happiness project." i haven't put it all down exactly the way it will happen, yet. she suggests beginning by answers a set of questions. here are the questions and my answers:
- What makes you feel good? What gives you joy, energy, and fun?
- shopping
- reading a good book
- writing letters
- spending time with good friends
- getting ready for and going on a date
- playing piano (i think? sometimes i wonder if this really makes me happy or it SHOULD make me happy)
- singing karaoke (ALONE!)
- new journals/paper
- craft supplies
- pictures of loved ones and fun times
- laying on the beach
- taking trips
- cooking good meals/trying new recipes
- laughing
- learning about strange religions/cults
- listening to interesting podcasts
- makeup
- blogging (when i'm feeling quirky and funny)
- playing endless games of spider solitaire
- too much time on fb & pinterest
- having a dirty house
- all the work left to do at my house
- sitting on the couch all day
- sleeping too late
- clutter
- co-workers
- not having friends
- classes of bad students
- boring music lessons
- ffgo & tt
- never exercising
- eating too much junk
- journaling
- having a relationship with God
- not watching too much tv
- eating dinner at the table without the tv on
- not being a lazy sloth
- having money in my savings account
- to volunteer (possibly with something involving type 1 diabetes)
- have a space to be creative
- turn off the tv and computer
- read more
- have the confidence to make friends
- create a peacful bedroom
- learn french
- study piano/take piano lessons
- learn to play the harmonica
here are some of my resolution ideas:
- read everyday
- make friends
- plan a weekly date night
- try 2 new recipes a week
- eliminate spider solitaire from my life
- limit time online
- don't let housework pile up
- finish all work at my house (lots to do here)
- don't sleep past 10 on weekends
- never spend more than __ hours on the couch
- find ways to deal with clutter
- be OVERLY friendly to co-workers
- devote time and energy to planning new and creative lesson plans
- have a better attitude about ffgo and tt
- exercise __ days a week
- re-start and keep up with weight watchers
- never watch more than 2 hours of tv on weekdays
- have a daily to-do list with completable tasks
- save $100 a month
- plan trips to visit megin & cynthia- and save money for those trips.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
so i guess i need to post again before megin gets mad!
well, i'm still in my happy wedding world. saturday we had our engagement pictures taken and they are AMAZING. they make me so happy. i have to look at the them every time I catch a glimpse of one on facebook. john even changed his profile picture to one of our photos. it's the first time i've been part of his profile picture and it makes me crazy happy. i can't wait to see the rest of the pictures when they're all finished. our house is going to be wall-papered in photos of us. (that's a joke.)
speaking of our house, we got a new grill at our first shower last friday!! we also got lots of other manly things. it was a "honey-do" shower for john, so he got yard tools and drills and stuff. the next shower if for me so that is exciting! we got our first call from place on the pointe this week to come pick up a gift. :) so exciting. i love gifts.
last night john and i were doing a chapter from the book we have to read for our marriage counseling. the questions were about our "living space." i have mixed feelings about moving into john's house. on one hand, i'm so excited! it's a new life and a fresh start and we'll have new things. i'll get to decorate and that will be exciting. on the other hand, i love living alone. i love that i'm the only one there and i don't have to please anyone. i can eat what i want, clean (or not clear) when i want, etc.
i also started thinking about changing my name and i have similar feelings about that. on one hand it's exciting, but on the other, it's sad and seems super difficult. i like my name and my initials. scanling is not an easy name like coleman is. i'm going to have to spell it out for people all the time. my children at school can't even pronounce it correctly. it would make some things really difficult if i didn't change my name to his though. and even though he doesn't admit it, i think he would be sad if i didn't. i have a new "S" keychain that i love though... so i'm excited about that part.
well, i'm still in my happy wedding world. saturday we had our engagement pictures taken and they are AMAZING. they make me so happy. i have to look at the them every time I catch a glimpse of one on facebook. john even changed his profile picture to one of our photos. it's the first time i've been part of his profile picture and it makes me crazy happy. i can't wait to see the rest of the pictures when they're all finished. our house is going to be wall-papered in photos of us. (that's a joke.)
speaking of our house, we got a new grill at our first shower last friday!! we also got lots of other manly things. it was a "honey-do" shower for john, so he got yard tools and drills and stuff. the next shower if for me so that is exciting! we got our first call from place on the pointe this week to come pick up a gift. :) so exciting. i love gifts.
last night john and i were doing a chapter from the book we have to read for our marriage counseling. the questions were about our "living space." i have mixed feelings about moving into john's house. on one hand, i'm so excited! it's a new life and a fresh start and we'll have new things. i'll get to decorate and that will be exciting. on the other hand, i love living alone. i love that i'm the only one there and i don't have to please anyone. i can eat what i want, clean (or not clear) when i want, etc.
i also started thinking about changing my name and i have similar feelings about that. on one hand it's exciting, but on the other, it's sad and seems super difficult. i like my name and my initials. scanling is not an easy name like coleman is. i'm going to have to spell it out for people all the time. my children at school can't even pronounce it correctly. it would make some things really difficult if i didn't change my name to his though. and even though he doesn't admit it, i think he would be sad if i didn't. i have a new "S" keychain that i love though... so i'm excited about that part.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
i'm alive.
well, since i'm pretty sure megin is going to delete me as a friend if i don't update... here goes.
i'm getting married! john asked me to marry him on christmas eve. the ring was not what i expected but is beautiful! of course, john being the most romantic man in the world (please note sarcasm), he didn't have a proposal speech or get down on one knee.... but i love him and i would have said yes no matter what he did! i totally knew the proposal was coming and i was so nervous.
anyway, the wedding is june 9th at the church i grew up in. megin, cynthia, kyle, and my sister, claire, are my bridesmaids. john has more groomsmen than i have bridesmaids, but since i have no friends, that makes sense. the colors for the wedding are green and brown and everything is going to be very natural. the reception is at the carnegie library downtown- it's an old building that is beautiful and historical. we're having a short engagement (thankfully) and that works for me because i'm a laid-back bride. i had to rush order my dress (and it's gorgeous, of course). i can't wait to see it again and try it on. the bridesmaid's dresses are chocolate chiffon and they'll carry green hydrangea bouquets. my bouquet will be white/ivory. last weekend we took my niece harper to pick out her flower girl dress. it's so cute. it's ivory with a green sash. my nephew doesn't want to participate, so he's just going to seat my mom and sit down with her. i can't wait to see him in a tux though!!! to be honest with you, i'm way more excited about the ceremony than the reception. i'm anti-social, so i'd rather just get married and run off just to be with john and not have to talk to anyone else. the reception's just a cocktail party, though, so i will NOT be dancing while everyone looks on. awkward!!! my mom is taking care of so much for me and i'm so thankful because i hate calling people, and honestly i really don't care. we met with our friend deborah, who is going to basically coordinate and decorate the reception, so she knows what i want and that's that.
after the wedding we're going on a cruise to the bahamas for a few days, then staying at a resort near cancun for a week. since we're both teachers, we have all of june to honeymoon :). i'm sure we'll spend the rest of the summer moving me in to john's house.
speaking of which.... living together is seeming like the biggest challenge! neither one of us is very good at compromise, but we're getting better. i definitely feel like the house is JOHN'S and not OURS. i hope that when i move my things in and start decorating, i can make it feel like it's my house too. he's agreed to change the paint color of two rooms and i'm basically redoing both of those rooms. his house is decorated much more formally than mine, so hopefully he's ok with a more relaxed style. also, he has no green in his house and that's my favorite color!! my freaking couch (which i'm selling) is green! speaking of selling... i'm so worried about selling my house. i've got to completely replace the carpeting because of the cat smell and make lots of other repairs before anyone else would consider living there. plus the market is ridiculous. there are so many houses for sale. i don't think i will sell it for the amount that i still owe on the loan. we might end up renting, but i really don't want to be a landlord, so hopefully we won't have to do that, at least not for very long. anyway, back to john's house. john has a dog named elton who is crazy. he has serious separation anxiety. he has to go to doggy daycare while john's at work. you would think that since i will be home more, elton wouldn't have to stay at doggy daycare as much... but it seems like he'll have to stay MORE since all he does is bark when i'm home alone with him and i kind of want to throw him in a closet. we had a breakthrough on saturday morning though. i was home alone with him. he did some barking for awhile, then he came and got on the couch with me, curled up and went to sleep. he didn't start barking again until i got up to do the laundry.
so this is getting long... i hope this blog update is enough to appease megin. i will do my best to keep my blog up to date!!
i'm getting married! john asked me to marry him on christmas eve. the ring was not what i expected but is beautiful! of course, john being the most romantic man in the world (please note sarcasm), he didn't have a proposal speech or get down on one knee.... but i love him and i would have said yes no matter what he did! i totally knew the proposal was coming and i was so nervous.
anyway, the wedding is june 9th at the church i grew up in. megin, cynthia, kyle, and my sister, claire, are my bridesmaids. john has more groomsmen than i have bridesmaids, but since i have no friends, that makes sense. the colors for the wedding are green and brown and everything is going to be very natural. the reception is at the carnegie library downtown- it's an old building that is beautiful and historical. we're having a short engagement (thankfully) and that works for me because i'm a laid-back bride. i had to rush order my dress (and it's gorgeous, of course). i can't wait to see it again and try it on. the bridesmaid's dresses are chocolate chiffon and they'll carry green hydrangea bouquets. my bouquet will be white/ivory. last weekend we took my niece harper to pick out her flower girl dress. it's so cute. it's ivory with a green sash. my nephew doesn't want to participate, so he's just going to seat my mom and sit down with her. i can't wait to see him in a tux though!!! to be honest with you, i'm way more excited about the ceremony than the reception. i'm anti-social, so i'd rather just get married and run off just to be with john and not have to talk to anyone else. the reception's just a cocktail party, though, so i will NOT be dancing while everyone looks on. awkward!!! my mom is taking care of so much for me and i'm so thankful because i hate calling people, and honestly i really don't care. we met with our friend deborah, who is going to basically coordinate and decorate the reception, so she knows what i want and that's that.
after the wedding we're going on a cruise to the bahamas for a few days, then staying at a resort near cancun for a week. since we're both teachers, we have all of june to honeymoon :). i'm sure we'll spend the rest of the summer moving me in to john's house.
speaking of which.... living together is seeming like the biggest challenge! neither one of us is very good at compromise, but we're getting better. i definitely feel like the house is JOHN'S and not OURS. i hope that when i move my things in and start decorating, i can make it feel like it's my house too. he's agreed to change the paint color of two rooms and i'm basically redoing both of those rooms. his house is decorated much more formally than mine, so hopefully he's ok with a more relaxed style. also, he has no green in his house and that's my favorite color!! my freaking couch (which i'm selling) is green! speaking of selling... i'm so worried about selling my house. i've got to completely replace the carpeting because of the cat smell and make lots of other repairs before anyone else would consider living there. plus the market is ridiculous. there are so many houses for sale. i don't think i will sell it for the amount that i still owe on the loan. we might end up renting, but i really don't want to be a landlord, so hopefully we won't have to do that, at least not for very long. anyway, back to john's house. john has a dog named elton who is crazy. he has serious separation anxiety. he has to go to doggy daycare while john's at work. you would think that since i will be home more, elton wouldn't have to stay at doggy daycare as much... but it seems like he'll have to stay MORE since all he does is bark when i'm home alone with him and i kind of want to throw him in a closet. we had a breakthrough on saturday morning though. i was home alone with him. he did some barking for awhile, then he came and got on the couch with me, curled up and went to sleep. he didn't start barking again until i got up to do the laundry.
so this is getting long... i hope this blog update is enough to appease megin. i will do my best to keep my blog up to date!!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
school starts back tomorrow, so that makes this as good of a time as any to reclaim my precious blog. i returned home this afternoon from a quick jaunt to atlanta with the boyfriend. after battling traffic on the way up, we went to a braves baseball game (they won!) for a friend's 40th birthday. after the game, i booked a room via priceline on my new blackberry (forgot to mention i got a new one before we left for atlanta). we gor a good price as the grand hyatt in buckhead. it was heaven. if only we could have stayed there instead of going out til 3 in the morning with the birthday party. anyway, we had to come home this morning to make it back for open houses at our respective schools. then, it was time to make a pre-back to school trek to the grocery store for lunch essentials.
i recently had cataract surgery done on my right eye and tuesday i will have the left one done. i'm excited to have both eyes seeing clearly. unfortunately, i will always need reading glasses... which actually makes me more teacher-like. being able to see clearer has brought to my attention just how disgusting my house is. so, i've been in a cleaning frenzy. this makes john super duper excited. there's a lot to be done, so i'm having to take one project at a time. i think the fridge might be next.
weight loss hasn't been going that well since vacation, so i really need to get back on the bandwagon now that i'm getting back on a schedule.
things with john are great! i love him more and more everyday. he's the best.
i recently had cataract surgery done on my right eye and tuesday i will have the left one done. i'm excited to have both eyes seeing clearly. unfortunately, i will always need reading glasses... which actually makes me more teacher-like. being able to see clearer has brought to my attention just how disgusting my house is. so, i've been in a cleaning frenzy. this makes john super duper excited. there's a lot to be done, so i'm having to take one project at a time. i think the fridge might be next.
weight loss hasn't been going that well since vacation, so i really need to get back on the bandwagon now that i'm getting back on a schedule.
things with john are great! i love him more and more everyday. he's the best.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
dear exes
i would like to thank all the boys from my past who have dumped me along the way. (the list is too long to post here). if it were not for you all, i would not be with the amazing guy that i'm with now. i would have been stuck with mediocre you and never would have known how great a relationship could feel!
best wishes to you all,
whitney
best wishes to you all,
whitney
Thursday, April 21, 2011
march 22, 2005
have anti-depressants silenced this voice?
"here i am to capture my heart in words again. i cannot always say everything in the right words. sometimes things must be said plainly, without searching for eloquence. of course, that kind of writing loses the music and therefore lacks heart. my purpose is to say things my heart feels in ways it hasn't been said before. not only that, but to also say them in a universal way, so that every heart understands. if i can find the words, then i save those who search for them with no end. not only them, but i save myself. the moment the words and music connect and meaning is given to mere thought i am saved- saved from drowning in a sea of uninterpreted, unexpressed feeling. the goal is partially fulfilled, since i find salvation everyday in the words i give the page. but have i touched your heart and helped you to express its brokeness or fullness? perhaps it is my selfishness that stands in the way of the words you need. how can i expect you to see the images drawn on my inner walls, especially in this darkness? even here i am leaving too much space. if i could pull you close enough, could you then see all the meaning in me? or would that closeness shut out the light you hold onto? (but isn't darkness the happiest place we have found together?) today's truth is that you may only see in the light. i will leave you at arms length, but importance is in the arm itself. on it, a sleeve, bearing my heart. there i will wear it- burned, scarred, but willing, so that you may read it however you may in your blindness.
this is the reason i hold on to you still, even when i am tempted to see you gone. you have lain yourself across my arm with too many words to name here. with your entirity, you have covered my sleeve, making its meaning beautiful. in this life, it has only been you to believe that way. it has only been you to have eyes in my darkness. however close i pull, however pitch the light, i am perfectly explained. there is the answer. i am completely saved by your understanding. underneath the words is your heart, with no questions of why. you can never be gone. do you see that too? these are the words i have wanted so long to give to you, i pray, with no expectation. who knew i would find them in the place where you are closest to my heart and farthest from my hand? still, their weakness here does not bear enough force to crumble your wall of stone. oh but if they did... i would never need again because i have found reason in these words! saved forever as my words save you! i will not say it, but there is one word at the center of all i give to you now. i am looking for strength and the word is what makes me weak. i have said it in failed attempts, lowering myself to its use. that is what i can see today. this is the gift i could never give. "
"here i am to capture my heart in words again. i cannot always say everything in the right words. sometimes things must be said plainly, without searching for eloquence. of course, that kind of writing loses the music and therefore lacks heart. my purpose is to say things my heart feels in ways it hasn't been said before. not only that, but to also say them in a universal way, so that every heart understands. if i can find the words, then i save those who search for them with no end. not only them, but i save myself. the moment the words and music connect and meaning is given to mere thought i am saved- saved from drowning in a sea of uninterpreted, unexpressed feeling. the goal is partially fulfilled, since i find salvation everyday in the words i give the page. but have i touched your heart and helped you to express its brokeness or fullness? perhaps it is my selfishness that stands in the way of the words you need. how can i expect you to see the images drawn on my inner walls, especially in this darkness? even here i am leaving too much space. if i could pull you close enough, could you then see all the meaning in me? or would that closeness shut out the light you hold onto? (but isn't darkness the happiest place we have found together?) today's truth is that you may only see in the light. i will leave you at arms length, but importance is in the arm itself. on it, a sleeve, bearing my heart. there i will wear it- burned, scarred, but willing, so that you may read it however you may in your blindness.
this is the reason i hold on to you still, even when i am tempted to see you gone. you have lain yourself across my arm with too many words to name here. with your entirity, you have covered my sleeve, making its meaning beautiful. in this life, it has only been you to believe that way. it has only been you to have eyes in my darkness. however close i pull, however pitch the light, i am perfectly explained. there is the answer. i am completely saved by your understanding. underneath the words is your heart, with no questions of why. you can never be gone. do you see that too? these are the words i have wanted so long to give to you, i pray, with no expectation. who knew i would find them in the place where you are closest to my heart and farthest from my hand? still, their weakness here does not bear enough force to crumble your wall of stone. oh but if they did... i would never need again because i have found reason in these words! saved forever as my words save you! i will not say it, but there is one word at the center of all i give to you now. i am looking for strength and the word is what makes me weak. i have said it in failed attempts, lowering myself to its use. that is what i can see today. this is the gift i could never give. "
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
ups and downs.
i'm a little bored, so how about a blog post?
i went to disney last week on spring break. i went with my family- including mom, dad, brother, niece, and nephew. we went to the magic kingdom, hollywood studios, and the animal kingdom. it rained the first day and it was miserable. we didn't stay for the parade and fireworks, which was my favorite (and most magical) part last time. oddly, a picture of john and his former girlfriend at disney kept appearing in my head... making me wonder what it was like for them at disney and wondering how he felt about her, if he liked her better, etc. the kids were okay most of the time, but there were some really terrible moments when both of them were pitching fits at the same time and (trying to) refuse to get on rides. i have to say, the part that made me not want to go next time was not the kids or the rain, it was my mom and brother. my mom is always in a horrible mood around my brother and mutters stuff under her breath a lot. and my brother gets angry. i can't stand the tension. i don't like to be around my mom when she's in that mood. it makes disney not the happiest place on earth.
needless to say, i was happy it was pouring the day we left so that all we could do was drive home! we got there in the late afternoon, so i was able to see andy and bee for awhile before going to john's house. then... i basically lived with john for 4 days. it was the best. i cried monday when it was over. i didn't want to leave. it made me want to get married to john. he doesn't even love me yet, so we're pretty far away from that... if it ever is to happen anyway.
i got a part in guys & dolls at theatre albany. i'm gonna be a hotbox girl. i think it just involves a lot of dancing. i was the only girl at the audition (on my night) that seemed to have any coordination or "cutesy-ness" in their dancing. i'm just excited about being in another show. it's been 10 years since i was in a show at theatre albany. i don't know what it will be like as an adult. as a teenager it was the best, you spend so much time with other teenagers and i made lots of friends. my dad said when i was in a show, i seemed the happiest i'd ever been. true.
i had my second weigh-in last night at weight watchers. i lost .6 lbs since the last weight-in. i think that's pretty good for being at disney for 4 days... but this weight-loss thing is taking forever!! i guess it's supposed to be more like a life-style change than just be about losing weight. but darn it!! i want to be skinny!! i bought a dress and skirt at target yesterday without trying them on. at home when i put them on they were tighter than i wanted them to be. they were both size 6. they're both wearable- especially with spanx!- but i wish i felt better in them. i want to be a size 4, not go up to a size 8! i have a gift certificate to one of my favorite stores in albany- Blush. i told john i wasn't going to use it until i met my 5% goal, which is 7 lbs. since i've only lost 2.8 lbs the whole time i've been doing this... 7 lbs seems far off!! dang. :(
i went to disney last week on spring break. i went with my family- including mom, dad, brother, niece, and nephew. we went to the magic kingdom, hollywood studios, and the animal kingdom. it rained the first day and it was miserable. we didn't stay for the parade and fireworks, which was my favorite (and most magical) part last time. oddly, a picture of john and his former girlfriend at disney kept appearing in my head... making me wonder what it was like for them at disney and wondering how he felt about her, if he liked her better, etc. the kids were okay most of the time, but there were some really terrible moments when both of them were pitching fits at the same time and (trying to) refuse to get on rides. i have to say, the part that made me not want to go next time was not the kids or the rain, it was my mom and brother. my mom is always in a horrible mood around my brother and mutters stuff under her breath a lot. and my brother gets angry. i can't stand the tension. i don't like to be around my mom when she's in that mood. it makes disney not the happiest place on earth.
needless to say, i was happy it was pouring the day we left so that all we could do was drive home! we got there in the late afternoon, so i was able to see andy and bee for awhile before going to john's house. then... i basically lived with john for 4 days. it was the best. i cried monday when it was over. i didn't want to leave. it made me want to get married to john. he doesn't even love me yet, so we're pretty far away from that... if it ever is to happen anyway.
i got a part in guys & dolls at theatre albany. i'm gonna be a hotbox girl. i think it just involves a lot of dancing. i was the only girl at the audition (on my night) that seemed to have any coordination or "cutesy-ness" in their dancing. i'm just excited about being in another show. it's been 10 years since i was in a show at theatre albany. i don't know what it will be like as an adult. as a teenager it was the best, you spend so much time with other teenagers and i made lots of friends. my dad said when i was in a show, i seemed the happiest i'd ever been. true.
i had my second weigh-in last night at weight watchers. i lost .6 lbs since the last weight-in. i think that's pretty good for being at disney for 4 days... but this weight-loss thing is taking forever!! i guess it's supposed to be more like a life-style change than just be about losing weight. but darn it!! i want to be skinny!! i bought a dress and skirt at target yesterday without trying them on. at home when i put them on they were tighter than i wanted them to be. they were both size 6. they're both wearable- especially with spanx!- but i wish i felt better in them. i want to be a size 4, not go up to a size 8! i have a gift certificate to one of my favorite stores in albany- Blush. i told john i wasn't going to use it until i met my 5% goal, which is 7 lbs. since i've only lost 2.8 lbs the whole time i've been doing this... 7 lbs seems far off!! dang. :(
Friday, March 25, 2011
friday fill-ins
1. Why does it smell in my house?.
2. 4 oatmeal chocolate chip cookies is equal to 8 weight watchers points.
3. My favorite breakfast includes lots of butter.
4. The Help was the last book I read on my Kindle.
5. I am SO glad that I am not afraid to cook for my current beau.
6. A hug and a kiss (and a nap) would make me feel better right now.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to cooking for John & watching Black Swan, tomorrow my plans include cleaning my house top to bottom and Sunday, I want to have a safe and fun trip to Disney World!
2. 4 oatmeal chocolate chip cookies is equal to 8 weight watchers points.
3. My favorite breakfast includes lots of butter.
4. The Help was the last book I read on my Kindle.
5. I am SO glad that I am not afraid to cook for my current beau.
6. A hug and a kiss (and a nap) would make me feel better right now.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to cooking for John & watching Black Swan, tomorrow my plans include cleaning my house top to bottom and Sunday, I want to have a safe and fun trip to Disney World!
Monday, March 21, 2011
life in a bag.
the contents of my current purse:
vera bradley pouch (ittin' in a tree) containing insulin pen, glucose monitor, and testing strips
small notebook to jot things down- especially weight watchers stuff, currently
work badge and key on Coach owl keychain
2 checks waiting to be deposited- totaling $340
checkbook
car, house, parents' house, church, lakehouse keys on etsy-found owl keychain
vera bradley wallet (sittin' in a tree)
digital camera
deodorant- dove powder fresh!
tweezers
vera bradley lipstick case (sittin' in a tree) containing two lipsticks
nail file
1 tampon
mascara, lipstain, chapstick x 2, another lipstick
1 easter egg (haha!)
sunglasses
4 pens
another work key
eye drops
contact cleaner
bunches of loose excedrin
1 empty excedrin bottle
nail clippers
1 earring
sticky tabs for marking music
weight watchers food tracker and weight watchers points calculator
vera bradley pouch (ittin' in a tree) containing insulin pen, glucose monitor, and testing strips
small notebook to jot things down- especially weight watchers stuff, currently
work badge and key on Coach owl keychain
2 checks waiting to be deposited- totaling $340
checkbook
car, house, parents' house, church, lakehouse keys on etsy-found owl keychain
vera bradley wallet (sittin' in a tree)
digital camera
deodorant- dove powder fresh!
tweezers
vera bradley lipstick case (sittin' in a tree) containing two lipsticks
nail file
1 tampon
mascara, lipstain, chapstick x 2, another lipstick
1 easter egg (haha!)
sunglasses
4 pens
another work key
eye drops
contact cleaner
bunches of loose excedrin
1 empty excedrin bottle
nail clippers
1 earring
sticky tabs for marking music
weight watchers food tracker and weight watchers points calculator
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
the beginning.
well, my weight loss journey has begun. i joined weight watchers last night. my mom has been sooo successful with it. she's .2 lbs away from her weight loss goal! i'm not sure how much she's lost total, but it's A LOT! i don't have near as much to lose. i'd like to lose 17 lbs from where i am right now. last night i weighted in at 137 lbs and i'd like to be 120. that's a moderate weight for someone my height. the lowest should be 113 and the highest is 141. after joining and going to the meeting last night, i went to the grocery store. it took me forever! i had to buy so much food, because it's like i'm starting over! there's so much food at my house that i need to throw out. gotta make room for all the veggies and healthy whole grains. i'm even gonna branch out and try a few fruits. i got bananas and blueberries this week. we'll see how that goes. i'm actually getting pretty excited about all this, even though it will be really different from what i am used to. i get to eat way more food than i expected.
my first weight watchers meal i made was:
baked skinless chicken breast- 3 pts
one serving of whole wheat couscous- 2 pts
asparagus cuts- 0 pts
that's only 5 pts total and the average dinner is recommended at 11. right now i have 29 pts to spread out over my day, plus 49 extra pts to spread over the week. when you exercise you earn more pts too based on how much and what kind of exercise you're doing.
my first WW breakfast:
1 cup whole wheat cereal- 2
1 cup fat-free milk- 2 pts
1 banana- 0 pts.
in case you haven't noticed, fruits and most vegetables are 0 pts. they say MOST vegetables because starchy vegetables, like potatos, obviously do pts.
everything i bought last night that is stored in the fridge was left at john's house last night. i went to his house straight from the grocery store, so i had to bring everything in and put it away while i was there. when i left i got everything from the counter and the freezer, but forgot the fridge!! i was so mad when i got home! there are lots of things i want to try with all the new food i bought and now i have to wait until tomorrow.
enough about food....
i'm upset about how little time i will be spending with john in the next few weeks. this weekend i'm "babysitting" hannah. i have to spend the night at her house while her parents are out of town. i get paid $200, so that's obviously why I'm doing that! buuuut that cuts out 2 date nights. john is going with me to warner robins on saturday for me to accompany his high school students for state literary meet. then, i'm taking him to macon to eat at IVP!!! i'm excited to show him macon and mercer :) he says i'll get to see him a few nights next week, but we'll see. THEN the next saturday he's working the GACE then going to Valdosta and Sunday morning i leave for disney world! i'll be gone til thursday. finally, i will get to spend some time with him after i get back. i know i'm complaining for nothing, because lots of other people get to see their boyfriend even less- i'm thinking especially of megin and her fiance, jesse. i don't know how she's doing it! she's a lot stronger than me, when it comes to that. i'm half excited about disney and half dreading it. my dad begged me to go because i'm the best at handling harper. her dad is too easy on her and my mom is really tough on her. i'm the middle ground and her "best buddy." last time at disney was when we really bonded. i took her on all the rides, got her ready for bed and ready in the morning, let her wear my lotion and perfume, went to bed with her every night, and carried her around. one of my favorite moments was when we left the park really late one night (late for a 2-year-old) and i was carrying her to the ferry. the ferry was PACKED so we had to stand up. harper fell asleep in my arms with her head on my shoulder on the ride back to our "cabinet" aka cabin. my other favorite disney moment was watching tinker bell fly across the sky during the fireworks. disney is amazing!!! but davis and harper can be real brats sometimes!!! and my mom and brother fight like cats and dogs. i know i will be REALLY REALLY ready to get home to my peace and quiet (and cats) by thurs.
my first weight watchers meal i made was:
baked skinless chicken breast- 3 pts
one serving of whole wheat couscous- 2 pts
asparagus cuts- 0 pts
that's only 5 pts total and the average dinner is recommended at 11. right now i have 29 pts to spread out over my day, plus 49 extra pts to spread over the week. when you exercise you earn more pts too based on how much and what kind of exercise you're doing.
my first WW breakfast:
1 cup whole wheat cereal- 2
1 cup fat-free milk- 2 pts
1 banana- 0 pts.
in case you haven't noticed, fruits and most vegetables are 0 pts. they say MOST vegetables because starchy vegetables, like potatos, obviously do pts.
everything i bought last night that is stored in the fridge was left at john's house last night. i went to his house straight from the grocery store, so i had to bring everything in and put it away while i was there. when i left i got everything from the counter and the freezer, but forgot the fridge!! i was so mad when i got home! there are lots of things i want to try with all the new food i bought and now i have to wait until tomorrow.
enough about food....
i'm upset about how little time i will be spending with john in the next few weeks. this weekend i'm "babysitting" hannah. i have to spend the night at her house while her parents are out of town. i get paid $200, so that's obviously why I'm doing that! buuuut that cuts out 2 date nights. john is going with me to warner robins on saturday for me to accompany his high school students for state literary meet. then, i'm taking him to macon to eat at IVP!!! i'm excited to show him macon and mercer :) he says i'll get to see him a few nights next week, but we'll see. THEN the next saturday he's working the GACE then going to Valdosta and Sunday morning i leave for disney world! i'll be gone til thursday. finally, i will get to spend some time with him after i get back. i know i'm complaining for nothing, because lots of other people get to see their boyfriend even less- i'm thinking especially of megin and her fiance, jesse. i don't know how she's doing it! she's a lot stronger than me, when it comes to that. i'm half excited about disney and half dreading it. my dad begged me to go because i'm the best at handling harper. her dad is too easy on her and my mom is really tough on her. i'm the middle ground and her "best buddy." last time at disney was when we really bonded. i took her on all the rides, got her ready for bed and ready in the morning, let her wear my lotion and perfume, went to bed with her every night, and carried her around. one of my favorite moments was when we left the park really late one night (late for a 2-year-old) and i was carrying her to the ferry. the ferry was PACKED so we had to stand up. harper fell asleep in my arms with her head on my shoulder on the ride back to our "cabinet" aka cabin. my other favorite disney moment was watching tinker bell fly across the sky during the fireworks. disney is amazing!!! but davis and harper can be real brats sometimes!!! and my mom and brother fight like cats and dogs. i know i will be REALLY REALLY ready to get home to my peace and quiet (and cats) by thurs.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
indulge me.
one of the "fill-ins" this week inspired me to write another entire post. it's the one where i was supposed to fill in what's extraordinary about me. i thought for awhile, but couldn't come up with one. that made me feel really bad. i know i struggle with self-esteem (example: i felt bad about myself for not being able to come up with anything good about myself! geez!) and that struggle has damaged a lot of relationships i've been in. i think my lack of self-esteem really started in middle school. that's when i was at my peak of ugliness/awkwardness/geekyness. there were girls that i had been friends with in elementary school were able to join the cool clique.. and left me on the outside. actually, i tried to at least be on the fringe. one of my really good friends since kindergarten was in the cool group. she had to choose between me and the cool group. the cool group won. i didn't wear the "right" clothes (GAP mostly), i wore glasses, my hair was long and stringy, i didn't take a bath every night (hahaha), and my ears stuck out (still do). i got made fun of and pushed down during "socialization time" after lunch. i made up a friend to write notes to, since all the cool girls were writing notes to each other. and worst of all, i wouldn't fully commit to friendships with girls who would have been friends with me, because they were not in the popular group. i would associate with them until i felt like the cool clique was watching then i'd pull away and act like i didn't like them.
anyway- time went on and high school came and i made friends with other people... but i mostly clung to jeremy, my high school boyfriend (who turned out to be gay). those popular girls were still around, and i guess i still wanted to impress them, but i didn't push the issue. i cared, but it wasn't at the forefront anymore, i guess. i developed a really tough exterior. i was good at not letting anyone in. i could date someone for 2 weeks and dump them without another thought. i actually told one boyfriend that i needed more space. (people who know me well today would know how crazy that is for me).
on comes college, i ended up making friends with GIRLS! it was crazy. i still don't know how it happened. i guess the image i had the whole time i lived in albany and went to school with the same people K-12th was erased when i went to mercer. i got to be a new person. and people accepted me. but of course the damage was already done... and i see rear its ugly head all the time. i have no confidence when it comes to making friends with other girls. i really haven't made any friends on my own since i've lived in albany. i use whatever guy i'm dating and his friends as my social life. so whenever i get dumped, i'm back to zero. i would never just call someone up and ask them to do something, because i always assume that people don't like me. that's my overall feeling- people don't like me. girls don't like me. boys... boys, i can handle. that's a whole different can of worms though.
enough rambling about my lack of self-esteem. i asked megin, cynthia, and john what was extraordinary about me. so far megin has responded. this is her list:
what i like about myself:
anyway- time went on and high school came and i made friends with other people... but i mostly clung to jeremy, my high school boyfriend (who turned out to be gay). those popular girls were still around, and i guess i still wanted to impress them, but i didn't push the issue. i cared, but it wasn't at the forefront anymore, i guess. i developed a really tough exterior. i was good at not letting anyone in. i could date someone for 2 weeks and dump them without another thought. i actually told one boyfriend that i needed more space. (people who know me well today would know how crazy that is for me).
on comes college, i ended up making friends with GIRLS! it was crazy. i still don't know how it happened. i guess the image i had the whole time i lived in albany and went to school with the same people K-12th was erased when i went to mercer. i got to be a new person. and people accepted me. but of course the damage was already done... and i see rear its ugly head all the time. i have no confidence when it comes to making friends with other girls. i really haven't made any friends on my own since i've lived in albany. i use whatever guy i'm dating and his friends as my social life. so whenever i get dumped, i'm back to zero. i would never just call someone up and ask them to do something, because i always assume that people don't like me. that's my overall feeling- people don't like me. girls don't like me. boys... boys, i can handle. that's a whole different can of worms though.
enough rambling about my lack of self-esteem. i asked megin, cynthia, and john what was extraordinary about me. so far megin has responded. this is her list:
- i have a knack for trendy/stylish things... not just clothes, but decorating too
- the strange way my family relates to each other
- my level of commitment to all the things i'm involved with
- my makeup stays on all day because i have nice, non-oily skin (hahaha)
- i'm a great teacher (she only assumes this, since she's never witnessed i
what i like about myself:
- my sense of humor
- i am quirky and unique
- i'm a good speller
- i'm a good writer and journal keeper
- i love cats- all of 'em!
- i can wiggle my ears.
- i can sing crazy high. notes only dogs can hear.
- i can sing and play the piano... even at the same time
- i'm great with kids and kids love me. i love being "miss whitney" and even "ms coleman"
- i'm great at doing my own eye makeup.
- i like being creative and crafty.
- i'm a gifter. i love buying little gifts for people.
- i love writing and receiving hand-written notes and letters.
- i have a really good "teacher look," you know, "the eye."
- i like my handwriting
- i like my big boobs. (can i say that?)
- i'm getting better and more flexible at yoga.
- i can keep duple against triple rhythms superbly.
- i have a "cute" personality.
- i make a mean broccoli casserole.
- i'm smarter than the average bear.
- i like to read.
- i like to see oscar award-winning movies, but i also love girly chick flicks.
- i went to public school.
- i have a masters degree.
- my classroom is always super cute and fun.
- i have a wonderful owl collection and i love all things owl.
- i'm a good friend (despite being told the opposite by my freshman roommate).
- i have an undying Target obsession. i could go there daily.
- i once ate 5 hotdogs and 2 plates of crawfish in one sitting. i was about eleven.
- i can sing the names of the 50 states in alphabetical order.
1. New experiences and possibilities excite me.
2. Maybe an unexpected turn on a daily walk could lead you right where you belong.
3. I'm looking forward to my dear friend Megin's wedding- & my first big trip w John.
4. My relationship with John has become something I never have imagined.
5. Try to find healing, peace, and happiness.
6. _____is what's extraordinary about me. (i'll get back to you on this one)
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing Harper and Davis, then relaxing at home in my pjs watching "Say Yes to the Dress" & dreaming that someday I might get to say yes, tomorrow my plans include keeping myself busy so that I don't have time to miss John too much and Sunday, I want to see John again after 3 days without him!
2. Maybe an unexpected turn on a daily walk could lead you right where you belong.
3. I'm looking forward to my dear friend Megin's wedding- & my first big trip w John.
4. My relationship with John has become something I never have imagined.
5. Try to find healing, peace, and happiness.
6. _____is what's extraordinary about me. (i'll get back to you on this one)
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing Harper and Davis, then relaxing at home in my pjs watching "Say Yes to the Dress" & dreaming that someday I might get to say yes, tomorrow my plans include keeping myself busy so that I don't have time to miss John too much and Sunday, I want to see John again after 3 days without him!
Friday, January 28, 2011
friday fill-ins
1. Up, up and away.
2. There's always something going around
3. Coats and scarves, mittens and boots: should not be part of my wardrobe.
4. I would do anything for a nice back rub.
5. I'm thinking about how much I wish I was going to see John more this weekend.
6. Spring be here soon!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing John after the basketball game, tomorrow my plans include being sad when I'm alone in my bed and Sunday, I want to have extra time with John, since we don't have choir!
2. There's always something going around
3. Coats and scarves, mittens and boots: should not be part of my wardrobe.
4. I would do anything for a nice back rub.
5. I'm thinking about how much I wish I was going to see John more this weekend.
6. Spring be here soon!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing John after the basketball game, tomorrow my plans include being sad when I'm alone in my bed and Sunday, I want to have extra time with John, since we don't have choir!
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