well, since i'm pretty sure megin is going to delete me as a friend if i don't update... here goes.
i'm getting married! john asked me to marry him on christmas eve. the ring was not what i expected but is beautiful! of course, john being the most romantic man in the world (please note sarcasm), he didn't have a proposal speech or get down on one knee.... but i love him and i would have said yes no matter what he did! i totally knew the proposal was coming and i was so nervous.
anyway, the wedding is june 9th at the church i grew up in. megin, cynthia, kyle, and my sister, claire, are my bridesmaids. john has more groomsmen than i have bridesmaids, but since i have no friends, that makes sense. the colors for the wedding are green and brown and everything is going to be very natural. the reception is at the carnegie library downtown- it's an old building that is beautiful and historical. we're having a short engagement (thankfully) and that works for me because i'm a laid-back bride. i had to rush order my dress (and it's gorgeous, of course). i can't wait to see it again and try it on. the bridesmaid's dresses are chocolate chiffon and they'll carry green hydrangea bouquets. my bouquet will be white/ivory. last weekend we took my niece harper to pick out her flower girl dress. it's so cute. it's ivory with a green sash. my nephew doesn't want to participate, so he's just going to seat my mom and sit down with her. i can't wait to see him in a tux though!!! to be honest with you, i'm way more excited about the ceremony than the reception. i'm anti-social, so i'd rather just get married and run off just to be with john and not have to talk to anyone else. the reception's just a cocktail party, though, so i will NOT be dancing while everyone looks on. awkward!!! my mom is taking care of so much for me and i'm so thankful because i hate calling people, and honestly i really don't care. we met with our friend deborah, who is going to basically coordinate and decorate the reception, so she knows what i want and that's that.
after the wedding we're going on a cruise to the bahamas for a few days, then staying at a resort near cancun for a week. since we're both teachers, we have all of june to honeymoon :). i'm sure we'll spend the rest of the summer moving me in to john's house.
speaking of which.... living together is seeming like the biggest challenge! neither one of us is very good at compromise, but we're getting better. i definitely feel like the house is JOHN'S and not OURS. i hope that when i move my things in and start decorating, i can make it feel like it's my house too. he's agreed to change the paint color of two rooms and i'm basically redoing both of those rooms. his house is decorated much more formally than mine, so hopefully he's ok with a more relaxed style. also, he has no green in his house and that's my favorite color!! my freaking couch (which i'm selling) is green! speaking of selling... i'm so worried about selling my house. i've got to completely replace the carpeting because of the cat smell and make lots of other repairs before anyone else would consider living there. plus the market is ridiculous. there are so many houses for sale. i don't think i will sell it for the amount that i still owe on the loan. we might end up renting, but i really don't want to be a landlord, so hopefully we won't have to do that, at least not for very long. anyway, back to john's house. john has a dog named elton who is crazy. he has serious separation anxiety. he has to go to doggy daycare while john's at work. you would think that since i will be home more, elton wouldn't have to stay at doggy daycare as much... but it seems like he'll have to stay MORE since all he does is bark when i'm home alone with him and i kind of want to throw him in a closet. we had a breakthrough on saturday morning though. i was home alone with him. he did some barking for awhile, then he came and got on the couch with me, curled up and went to sleep. he didn't start barking again until i got up to do the laundry.
so this is getting long... i hope this blog update is enough to appease megin. i will do my best to keep my blog up to date!!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
school starts back tomorrow, so that makes this as good of a time as any to reclaim my precious blog. i returned home this afternoon from a quick jaunt to atlanta with the boyfriend. after battling traffic on the way up, we went to a braves baseball game (they won!) for a friend's 40th birthday. after the game, i booked a room via priceline on my new blackberry (forgot to mention i got a new one before we left for atlanta). we gor a good price as the grand hyatt in buckhead. it was heaven. if only we could have stayed there instead of going out til 3 in the morning with the birthday party. anyway, we had to come home this morning to make it back for open houses at our respective schools. then, it was time to make a pre-back to school trek to the grocery store for lunch essentials.
i recently had cataract surgery done on my right eye and tuesday i will have the left one done. i'm excited to have both eyes seeing clearly. unfortunately, i will always need reading glasses... which actually makes me more teacher-like. being able to see clearer has brought to my attention just how disgusting my house is. so, i've been in a cleaning frenzy. this makes john super duper excited. there's a lot to be done, so i'm having to take one project at a time. i think the fridge might be next.
weight loss hasn't been going that well since vacation, so i really need to get back on the bandwagon now that i'm getting back on a schedule.
things with john are great! i love him more and more everyday. he's the best.
i recently had cataract surgery done on my right eye and tuesday i will have the left one done. i'm excited to have both eyes seeing clearly. unfortunately, i will always need reading glasses... which actually makes me more teacher-like. being able to see clearer has brought to my attention just how disgusting my house is. so, i've been in a cleaning frenzy. this makes john super duper excited. there's a lot to be done, so i'm having to take one project at a time. i think the fridge might be next.
weight loss hasn't been going that well since vacation, so i really need to get back on the bandwagon now that i'm getting back on a schedule.
things with john are great! i love him more and more everyday. he's the best.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
dear exes
i would like to thank all the boys from my past who have dumped me along the way. (the list is too long to post here). if it were not for you all, i would not be with the amazing guy that i'm with now. i would have been stuck with mediocre you and never would have known how great a relationship could feel!
best wishes to you all,
whitney
best wishes to you all,
whitney
Thursday, April 21, 2011
march 22, 2005
have anti-depressants silenced this voice?
"here i am to capture my heart in words again. i cannot always say everything in the right words. sometimes things must be said plainly, without searching for eloquence. of course, that kind of writing loses the music and therefore lacks heart. my purpose is to say things my heart feels in ways it hasn't been said before. not only that, but to also say them in a universal way, so that every heart understands. if i can find the words, then i save those who search for them with no end. not only them, but i save myself. the moment the words and music connect and meaning is given to mere thought i am saved- saved from drowning in a sea of uninterpreted, unexpressed feeling. the goal is partially fulfilled, since i find salvation everyday in the words i give the page. but have i touched your heart and helped you to express its brokeness or fullness? perhaps it is my selfishness that stands in the way of the words you need. how can i expect you to see the images drawn on my inner walls, especially in this darkness? even here i am leaving too much space. if i could pull you close enough, could you then see all the meaning in me? or would that closeness shut out the light you hold onto? (but isn't darkness the happiest place we have found together?) today's truth is that you may only see in the light. i will leave you at arms length, but importance is in the arm itself. on it, a sleeve, bearing my heart. there i will wear it- burned, scarred, but willing, so that you may read it however you may in your blindness.
this is the reason i hold on to you still, even when i am tempted to see you gone. you have lain yourself across my arm with too many words to name here. with your entirity, you have covered my sleeve, making its meaning beautiful. in this life, it has only been you to believe that way. it has only been you to have eyes in my darkness. however close i pull, however pitch the light, i am perfectly explained. there is the answer. i am completely saved by your understanding. underneath the words is your heart, with no questions of why. you can never be gone. do you see that too? these are the words i have wanted so long to give to you, i pray, with no expectation. who knew i would find them in the place where you are closest to my heart and farthest from my hand? still, their weakness here does not bear enough force to crumble your wall of stone. oh but if they did... i would never need again because i have found reason in these words! saved forever as my words save you! i will not say it, but there is one word at the center of all i give to you now. i am looking for strength and the word is what makes me weak. i have said it in failed attempts, lowering myself to its use. that is what i can see today. this is the gift i could never give. "
"here i am to capture my heart in words again. i cannot always say everything in the right words. sometimes things must be said plainly, without searching for eloquence. of course, that kind of writing loses the music and therefore lacks heart. my purpose is to say things my heart feels in ways it hasn't been said before. not only that, but to also say them in a universal way, so that every heart understands. if i can find the words, then i save those who search for them with no end. not only them, but i save myself. the moment the words and music connect and meaning is given to mere thought i am saved- saved from drowning in a sea of uninterpreted, unexpressed feeling. the goal is partially fulfilled, since i find salvation everyday in the words i give the page. but have i touched your heart and helped you to express its brokeness or fullness? perhaps it is my selfishness that stands in the way of the words you need. how can i expect you to see the images drawn on my inner walls, especially in this darkness? even here i am leaving too much space. if i could pull you close enough, could you then see all the meaning in me? or would that closeness shut out the light you hold onto? (but isn't darkness the happiest place we have found together?) today's truth is that you may only see in the light. i will leave you at arms length, but importance is in the arm itself. on it, a sleeve, bearing my heart. there i will wear it- burned, scarred, but willing, so that you may read it however you may in your blindness.
this is the reason i hold on to you still, even when i am tempted to see you gone. you have lain yourself across my arm with too many words to name here. with your entirity, you have covered my sleeve, making its meaning beautiful. in this life, it has only been you to believe that way. it has only been you to have eyes in my darkness. however close i pull, however pitch the light, i am perfectly explained. there is the answer. i am completely saved by your understanding. underneath the words is your heart, with no questions of why. you can never be gone. do you see that too? these are the words i have wanted so long to give to you, i pray, with no expectation. who knew i would find them in the place where you are closest to my heart and farthest from my hand? still, their weakness here does not bear enough force to crumble your wall of stone. oh but if they did... i would never need again because i have found reason in these words! saved forever as my words save you! i will not say it, but there is one word at the center of all i give to you now. i am looking for strength and the word is what makes me weak. i have said it in failed attempts, lowering myself to its use. that is what i can see today. this is the gift i could never give. "
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
ups and downs.
i'm a little bored, so how about a blog post?
i went to disney last week on spring break. i went with my family- including mom, dad, brother, niece, and nephew. we went to the magic kingdom, hollywood studios, and the animal kingdom. it rained the first day and it was miserable. we didn't stay for the parade and fireworks, which was my favorite (and most magical) part last time. oddly, a picture of john and his former girlfriend at disney kept appearing in my head... making me wonder what it was like for them at disney and wondering how he felt about her, if he liked her better, etc. the kids were okay most of the time, but there were some really terrible moments when both of them were pitching fits at the same time and (trying to) refuse to get on rides. i have to say, the part that made me not want to go next time was not the kids or the rain, it was my mom and brother. my mom is always in a horrible mood around my brother and mutters stuff under her breath a lot. and my brother gets angry. i can't stand the tension. i don't like to be around my mom when she's in that mood. it makes disney not the happiest place on earth.
needless to say, i was happy it was pouring the day we left so that all we could do was drive home! we got there in the late afternoon, so i was able to see andy and bee for awhile before going to john's house. then... i basically lived with john for 4 days. it was the best. i cried monday when it was over. i didn't want to leave. it made me want to get married to john. he doesn't even love me yet, so we're pretty far away from that... if it ever is to happen anyway.
i got a part in guys & dolls at theatre albany. i'm gonna be a hotbox girl. i think it just involves a lot of dancing. i was the only girl at the audition (on my night) that seemed to have any coordination or "cutesy-ness" in their dancing. i'm just excited about being in another show. it's been 10 years since i was in a show at theatre albany. i don't know what it will be like as an adult. as a teenager it was the best, you spend so much time with other teenagers and i made lots of friends. my dad said when i was in a show, i seemed the happiest i'd ever been. true.
i had my second weigh-in last night at weight watchers. i lost .6 lbs since the last weight-in. i think that's pretty good for being at disney for 4 days... but this weight-loss thing is taking forever!! i guess it's supposed to be more like a life-style change than just be about losing weight. but darn it!! i want to be skinny!! i bought a dress and skirt at target yesterday without trying them on. at home when i put them on they were tighter than i wanted them to be. they were both size 6. they're both wearable- especially with spanx!- but i wish i felt better in them. i want to be a size 4, not go up to a size 8! i have a gift certificate to one of my favorite stores in albany- Blush. i told john i wasn't going to use it until i met my 5% goal, which is 7 lbs. since i've only lost 2.8 lbs the whole time i've been doing this... 7 lbs seems far off!! dang. :(
i went to disney last week on spring break. i went with my family- including mom, dad, brother, niece, and nephew. we went to the magic kingdom, hollywood studios, and the animal kingdom. it rained the first day and it was miserable. we didn't stay for the parade and fireworks, which was my favorite (and most magical) part last time. oddly, a picture of john and his former girlfriend at disney kept appearing in my head... making me wonder what it was like for them at disney and wondering how he felt about her, if he liked her better, etc. the kids were okay most of the time, but there were some really terrible moments when both of them were pitching fits at the same time and (trying to) refuse to get on rides. i have to say, the part that made me not want to go next time was not the kids or the rain, it was my mom and brother. my mom is always in a horrible mood around my brother and mutters stuff under her breath a lot. and my brother gets angry. i can't stand the tension. i don't like to be around my mom when she's in that mood. it makes disney not the happiest place on earth.
needless to say, i was happy it was pouring the day we left so that all we could do was drive home! we got there in the late afternoon, so i was able to see andy and bee for awhile before going to john's house. then... i basically lived with john for 4 days. it was the best. i cried monday when it was over. i didn't want to leave. it made me want to get married to john. he doesn't even love me yet, so we're pretty far away from that... if it ever is to happen anyway.
i got a part in guys & dolls at theatre albany. i'm gonna be a hotbox girl. i think it just involves a lot of dancing. i was the only girl at the audition (on my night) that seemed to have any coordination or "cutesy-ness" in their dancing. i'm just excited about being in another show. it's been 10 years since i was in a show at theatre albany. i don't know what it will be like as an adult. as a teenager it was the best, you spend so much time with other teenagers and i made lots of friends. my dad said when i was in a show, i seemed the happiest i'd ever been. true.
i had my second weigh-in last night at weight watchers. i lost .6 lbs since the last weight-in. i think that's pretty good for being at disney for 4 days... but this weight-loss thing is taking forever!! i guess it's supposed to be more like a life-style change than just be about losing weight. but darn it!! i want to be skinny!! i bought a dress and skirt at target yesterday without trying them on. at home when i put them on they were tighter than i wanted them to be. they were both size 6. they're both wearable- especially with spanx!- but i wish i felt better in them. i want to be a size 4, not go up to a size 8! i have a gift certificate to one of my favorite stores in albany- Blush. i told john i wasn't going to use it until i met my 5% goal, which is 7 lbs. since i've only lost 2.8 lbs the whole time i've been doing this... 7 lbs seems far off!! dang. :(
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)