in the groove.

i kind of feel like i'm finally hitting my "groove" in albany. i love becoming more social and meeting people who are potential albany friends. i went to a birthday dinner last night at los vaqueros. i ended up sitting by a girl that i've seen at my yoga class before. she was actually one of the "birthday girls." she seemed really cool.

i am getting my house together finally. i painted my bedroom from green to a deep beige (called coffee for some strange reason) and i LOVE it! it looks so amazing. i'm so ready to get curtains hung, new blinds picked, art hung on the wall, etc. i also bought this thing to hang on the wall to organize all my necklaces. they're always in a tangle, so i end up not ever wearing them or wearing the ONE that i keep out of the tangle for a few months. i've decided i want to paint the hallway light gray. i think it would be really cool. not much of my furniture matches gray though, so i thought the hallway would be a good place for it. the hardest thing to decide on is the living room/dining room/kitchen. they're all pretty connected, but i don't know that i want to paint all of it one color. it's the main living space of the house, so i want it to look awesome- but i'm failing miserably. not only is it not cute but it smells like cat pee. andy's favorite spot to pee was underneath the large front windows.

my boyfriend has a recently diagnosed heart condition. he went to the doctor and the medicine is working, but he was disappointed to hear he'll be on medication forever. he's really down about all of this and it makes me feel like an inadequate girlfriend. i can't make him happy. and even though i know the depression and sadness is not about me, it's still hard on me. i want to make things all better and i can't.

i'm trying to work out my neediness by creating a life of my own that is about way more than a boyfriend. i feel like i'm making progress. but i'm a long way from normal.