ups and downs.

i'm a little bored, so how about a blog post?

i went to disney last week on spring break. i went with my family- including mom, dad, brother, niece, and nephew. we went to the magic kingdom, hollywood studios, and the animal kingdom. it rained the first day and it was miserable. we didn't stay for the parade and fireworks, which was my favorite (and most magical) part last time. oddly, a picture of john and his former girlfriend at disney kept appearing in my head... making me wonder what it was like for them at disney and wondering how he felt about her, if he liked her better, etc. the kids were okay most of the time, but there were some really terrible moments when both of them were pitching fits at the same time and (trying to) refuse to get on rides. i have to say, the part that made me not want to go next time was not the kids or the rain, it was my mom and brother. my mom is always in a horrible mood around my brother and mutters stuff under her breath a lot. and my brother gets angry. i can't stand the tension. i don't like to be around my mom when she's in that mood. it makes disney not the happiest place on earth.

needless to say, i was happy it was pouring the day we left so that all we could do was drive home! we got there in the late afternoon, so i was able to see andy and bee for awhile before going to john's house. then... i basically lived with john for 4 days. it was the best. i cried monday when it was over. i didn't want to leave. it made me want to get married to john. he doesn't even love me yet, so we're pretty far away from that... if it ever is to happen anyway.

i got a part in guys & dolls at theatre albany. i'm gonna be a hotbox girl. i think it just involves a lot of dancing. i was the only girl at the audition (on my night) that seemed to have any coordination or "cutesy-ness" in their dancing. i'm just excited about being in another show. it's been 10 years since i was in a show at theatre albany. i don't know what it will be like as an adult. as a teenager it was the best, you spend so much time with other teenagers and i made lots of friends. my dad said when i was in a show, i seemed the happiest i'd ever been. true.

i had my second weigh-in last night at weight watchers. i lost .6 lbs since the last weight-in. i think that's pretty good for being at disney for 4 days... but this weight-loss thing is taking forever!! i guess it's supposed to be more like a life-style change than just be about losing weight. but darn it!! i want to be skinny!! i bought a dress and skirt at target yesterday without trying them on. at home when i put them on they were tighter than i wanted them to be. they were both size 6. they're both wearable- especially with spanx!- but i wish i felt better in them. i want to be a size 4, not go up to a size 8! i have a gift certificate to one of my favorite stores in albany- Blush. i told john i wasn't going to use it until i met my 5% goal, which is 7 lbs. since i've only lost 2.8 lbs the whole time i've been doing this... 7 lbs seems far off!! dang. :(