wow. call me the worst blogger ever. last post was at the beginning of november and now we are halfway through with december! perhaps one of my resolutions for 2011 should be to blog more regularly. it feels like yesterday that i was coming up with my resolutions for 2010 and now the whole year has flown by. this has been a great year for me. a nice, but casual relationship has blossomed into something wonderful that i wasn't expecting. what i assumed would be a fling has become my first year-long relationship.

this has also been a great year at work. my classes are better than ever and i feel good about it. in may i will finish with the TAPP program and get a pay raise for having a clear renewable certificate. SO excited about that one. also next summer i will be in the wedding of my very best friend, megin. super super excited about that. especially since she decided to get married in nyc and i'll be spending a whole week up there having girl time with her and cynthia while we get ready for the big day.

i'm hoping and praying that a lot of john's health issues improve in the coming year. as always, i hope for good health for myself also. one of my resolutions will definitely be to lower my A1C. i do hope to get married and have a kid in the not-so-distant-future... and currently my A1C is too high to safely have a child. i better get a jump start on improving that so i have the next few years ahead of me to get better. i'm thinking about going on the pump this summer. insulin pump, in case some of you don't know what i'm talking about. i will also be having cataract surgery this summer. i am half-way excited about that since it will mean not wearing contacts anymore, but it will also mean i have to wear those old grandma reading glasses. i will officially look like a teacher, for sure! i'm gonna wear them on a chain around my neck and everything! ha.

i'm looking forward to the holiday season. well, i guess i shouldn't say i'm looking forward to it, since we are right here in the midst of it. but since today is the last day of school, i feel that i can now fully concentrate on the many celebrations that are to come. tonight there is a party at a friend's house, but i think john and i may have a movie date, instead. friday night it the big party at my parents' house. remember those years you used to come cynthia?? so fun. this is john's first experience with the coleman family christmas party. my sister will actually not be in attendance this year, and i'm none too happy about that. since she's living so far away, she can't come down this weekend AND next weekend for christmas. boo. saturday and sunday i will be singing with the adult choir at 3 candlelighting services. i have a great solo in one of my favorite christmas songs- "in the bleak midwinter." i'm excited (and nervous) about john finally hearing me sing on sunday night when he comes. i have not put up a christmas tree yet, so hopefully tomorrow or later this weekend i can get that up! i considered not doing it at all, but facebook friends convinced me to go for it. i love when my house is decorating, i just don't like the decorating and undecorating.

i'm sad that john will be leaving me for 8 days starting tuesday. he's going to visit his parents for the holidays, of course. i'm glad he is doing that, because i want him to have a close relationship with his parents. but i wish he didn't have to leave me for so long! he has 4 gifts for me and i'm very excited to see what they are! he didn't ask for hints or anything so these gifts are all his idea! i'm impressed. speaking of christmas gifts, i still haven't used the spa gift certificate that michael gave me for christmas last year. i have to call before the 22nd or it will expire. i'm so bad at making appointments.

on a completely different note, on monday morning i had to take john to the hospital to have a "procedure." we had to be there at 7 AM. i played the part of the wife the whole day. when john was coming out of the anesthesia, it was probably some of the funniest hours i've ever spent with him. he immediately started talking about how the last thing i said to him was "shut up" before he went into the surgery... because the last thing he said to me was "i know how much money is in my wallet," since i was holding on to his clothes and stuff! he couldn't drive the rest of the day so i had to take care of him and bring him supper and all. it was definitely my most wife-like day so far. it was the best.

welcome november.

only 2 months left in the year 2o1o. it has been a good year. but i would like to see what the next one is all about.

this weekend was fun. friday after school i went to harvest moon with john and his co-workers before going to the fair, then john's house. the fair was not too fun. but naturally, harper was the one who wanted to ride everything and davis was more than cautious, despite the fact that he's 5 and she's only 3. saturday morning john and i went to get doughnuts together. yummy but waaaay too fattening. saturday afternoon john came and picked me up to go to my parents' house for the party. everybody thought elton was super-cute. and he was. john insisted that i say elton was the cutest one there. saturday night john and i carved our pumpkins, finally. i didn't get to do an intricate pattern like usual, because we were in a hurry to get them out before trick-or-treating began! john made his look like his pumpkin got sick and threw up pumpkin guts. mine was a bat. when the trick-or-treaters came, two of them were my students and they were very surprised to see me. "it's the music lady!!!" john and i watched "The Crazies" before bed, but luckily it wasn't too scary.

sunday i got a flu shot at church (weird, i know) and my arm is still sore!!! ouch! since my dad was there, i had him pay for it! hooray! sunday afternoon i actually did a lot of cleaning before taking my nap. john and i had pizza and watched DH as usual. it was the last time we'll get to hang out until next sunday!! because...

i'm leaving thursday after school to go visit my sister in north carolina! i'm very excited, even though it means a weekend without john. john doesn't understand why i feel so sad about not seeing him for a full week. he doesn't know how lucky he is. i used to cry every time my bf would leave me, even if it was just for the night. i was so unhealthy! i told john that i could stand him missing me a little more. but he just keeps insisting that it will be okay and we'll text a lot. i'll believe it when i see it!

john has a new favorite activity... cracking my back. he makes me lay on the ground and he pops my back around. he finds it extremely satisfying when my back makes loud popping sounds. i went to pick up something from his house last night and i wasn't there 5 minutes before he was asking to pop my back again. maybe he's found a new calling as a chiropractor. i do carry a LOT of tension in my back, so the adjustment does help. i'd like a massage too though!

halloween fun.

i'm proud to say that i did everything on my list from yesterday. it was a total veg out night. john had a football game last night, but i'm glad i stayed home instead of going to the game. sometimes i have good intentions on the weekend of doing things like painting my nails and reading and then i never do them. i'm glad i committed to it and got it done. no i didn't do anything of the not-fun things i need to do like clean the litter box, but i thoroughly enjoyed relaxing.

after school i've got to go find a skeleton to hang on john's front door. he asked me to get one because we're planning to stay home tomorrow night and pass out candy to the kiddos. then after my parents and brother get off work, we're going to the fair! john refuses to go :( boooooo! i'm excited about having my footlong hotdog and riding rides with davis and harper. after the fair, i'm going to john's house... so i get the best of both worlds tonight- family and john.

tomorrow is davis and harper's halloween party at my parents' house. i'm wearing leopard ears and tail with an all black outfit and leopard print shoes. so i'll only be semi-costumed. harper is going as hannah montana and davis is boba fet? someone from star wars. i just know he has a jet pack. john is coming and bringing elton, possibly dressed as a cowboy.. the dog, not john. after the party is the GA/FL game and i guess john and i need to carve our pumpkins. we're going to watch a scary movie, but i hope it's not paranormal activity!

this weekend should be REALLY fun! i hope john is feeling okay all weekend. it would be a bummer if he felt bad and we didn't get to do everything.

today at school we're having a fall dance for all the kiddos so i'm not teaching. i'll be in the gym selling candy all day. gotta go do that now...

rainy day plans.

in about an hour it will be time to go home from school. it's raining today. and i have no schedule and no plans for the evening. how amazing does that sound? here is the run-down of what i'd like to do tonight:

• nap
• paint my nails
• read
• turn on my Halloween lights
• burn my pumpkin candle
• write a note to a friend
• watch the project runway finale (without J..boohoo!)
• cuddle with my cats
  

saturday randomness.

happy saturday, blog friends. i'm sorry to say that i'm not feeling too well this beautiful day. i woke up with lots of tension and a big fat headache. i've taken loads of medicine and hopefully it will start feeling better. in an hour i'm meeting with a couple friends to practice for a wedding. a friend from high school/church is singing at another friend's wedding in november and i'm playing piano (keyboard actually). i'm most excited about the wedding because my high school best friend, jeremy, will be there and i haven't seen him in 6 or 7 years. there are many other things i would like to do this weekend, including:

1. upload tons of photos and order some
2. mail cards to friends and sister!
3. read glamour magazine
4. brainstorm on how to save money for christmas gifts
5. go to the public library
6. read part of the new book that came yesterday!
7. paint my nails
8. buy candy and treats for school and church this week

i'm not sure how much of that will get done! tonight i'm going out with john. or maybe staying in with john. we don't have a plan yet... just know that this is date night. i already know what i'm going to wear- my jean skirt and tall slouchy brown boots with some sort of shirt. i have one in mind, but i'll have to try it on with the skirt before i make my final selection.

i have a confession: i'm really glad that "say yes to the dress: big bliss" is over. i didn't enjoy the plus-size wedding dress shopping. i mean, it was kind of sad sometimes! i'm not sure what the point of that was... to encourage people to lose weight? to say fat is beautiful? i really prefer to watch thin, beautiful women buy wedding dresses. i'm sorry if that's rude. next week "what not to wear" comes back! maybe megin and i can watch and chat our comments to each other. good times.

how did i get so poor? it's really frustrating. i've stopped using credit cards and i'm working on paying them off. i don't have much debt on them, but i'd rather have none! you can't really save money if you have debt. i'm thinking of getting rid of cable. hopefully my new insurance plan will make my pharmacy payments go down. i spend at least $250 on medicine every month. john never pays for his prescriptions! i'm getting his plan. i know it's not right to long for marriage because of the stability it provides... but i can't help but think that! if i was married and lost my job, i wouldn't have to worry nearly as much about losing my health insurance and all. at the end of this year i will be fully certified as a teacher, and get a pretty substantial pay raise. but i do have to make it to may before that.

friday fill-ins... for real

1. One of my strongest beliefs is that all things work together for good. There's always a lesson to be learned or something to be gained... but you may not discover it until farther down the road.

2. My desire for a diet coke right now is huge!

3. The sky is cloudy with a threat of rain and wind and cold, so I curl up on the couch with a blanket and my cats and take a nap.

4. Cuddling is comforting to me.

5. I always thought I'd be having babies by now.

6. I turned into a werewolf and then I went outside to look at the full moon.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxing by myself and reading a new book that should be delivered today, tomorrow my plans include practicing for a wedding and having a date with John and Sunday, I want to have a good performance by my Angel Choir at church!

friday fill-ins

as i was perusing the blog world today, i found a blog called "Friday Fill-Ins". so even though it's not friday, i decided to go for it.

1. Wow, it's only 2:21, which means i still have to sit here at work for awhile.

2. I long for someone to call me beautiful.

3. My favorite way to start a day is watching the Today Show for as long as I want.

4. I heard my cat Andy knocking on the front door and he walked in the door holding a pumpkin.

5. I look out my window and see a patio where teachers go to smoke.

6. Love is what I've been thinking about lately.

7. And as for the weekend (not really), tonight I'm looking forward to going to John's house to watch project runway and cuddle , tomorrow my plans include working, reading, napping, and eating and Sunday, I want to feel rested and ready for Monday!

boring?

we're half-way through the week, so i feel obligated to post again. why did i find blogging so much easier in college? maybe i had more exciting things to write about. instead this was my day yesterday:

• 7:15 arrive at work
• 7:25 chorus begins
• 8:30 start teaching classes
• 3:45 leave work
• 4:00 play piano and discipline children @ terrific tuesday
• 5:40 go home
• 5:45 take out trash, put away clean dishes and fill with dirty ones, clean both litter boxes, clean up bee's throw up
• 7:00 fall asleep on couch
• 7:50 go to parents' house to get a check and pick up laundry
• 8:30 eat pizza
• 9:15 put away clothes and text john
• 9:45 talk to john on fbook
  
• 11:00 turn off tv, listen to podcasts, go to sleep

busy but boring day. after work today i'm planning to nap until time to go to church. i wish i was going to see john tonight, but i have to wait until tomorrow. i have no plans for the weekend except that john and i will do something on saturday night. is my life boring? what should i be doing to add more excitement?

morgan is like totally 30.

happy sunday! i hope you enjoy this picture of john and i dressed up in our 80s gear for morgan's 30th birthday. it was a fun party. she had fun gifts like slap bracelets, koosies, and sunglasses. the top of her cake was a rubic cube and the bottom layer had pacman going around the bottom. it was awesome! i actually enjoyed being dressed up more than i thought i would. i was really nervous going into it, because i don't like to stick out and have people looking at me. unless, they're looking at me because i'm the hottest girl there. my boyfriend thought i looked great though, so that's all that matters. and he looked awesome. i bought him that van halen shirt and the bandanas, btw. i can't take credit for the mullet, however.






right now i am loving:

• pumpkin scented candles
  
• new glamour magazine
• halloween lights in my windows
• neon pink fingernails
• watching my finances better
• tall brown boots
  
• pictures with my bf
  

my pretty pennies

i found a new blog i like called "my pretty pennies." i stole this activity from her that she does at the end of every week.

1. The most I’ve spent this last week was on groceries- almost $63, but at least I'll have food in the house now.

2. Today I feel nervous towards money. I feel like I'm doing a good job sticking to my budget, but I'm still worried that I'll end up in the hole.

3. Money can’t buy happiness. One free/inexpensive thing I did last week that made me happy was listening to podcasts at tranquility du jour.

4. I will consider this week a success if I do my laundry!

5. If I could could quit my job for a month and travel throughout one country, I would choose Japan! I have friends there :)

october musings.

i've been really into talk radio and podcasts lately. my favorite podcast right now is called "tranquility du jour." i find it really inspiring, but it can sometimes get a little too weirdo for me. most of the time i really like it. i've been going back and listening to all the back episodes. i've been inspired by a lot of the episodes, and my next goal is to put some of that inspiration into practice. i have a break from work for the next two days, so i'm hoping to get my office/craft room in working order so i can get the creativity juices flowing. one thing i've always liked doing that they talk about on the blog is cutting pictures/phrases/inspirations from magazines. on the podcast they talk about using them for visual journals, which i'm hoping to start soon. i always thought i was a weirdo for cutting things out and pasting them on boxes... but comes to find out other people do stuff like that too. megin and kendall were really confused one night when i got mad that kendall colored on one of my boxes that i had decorated. turns out i can justify the box being important to me. other people feel the same way as me. who knew?

a lot of the discussion on the podcast is about mindfulness and being present in life- taking time to notice and appreciate the small things and not just sleepwalking through each day. that's something my therapist and i talked about last time, so it's fitting that i found this podcast this month.

there is a lot going on in the next month that i'm excited about. this weekend john and i are getting a bunch of friends together to go out, which is something we haven't done in awhile. i love getting cute and going out. sometimes one of the best parts of a "date" is getting ready! oh, and the kissing. then next week we're going to an event at the zoo called "walk on the wild side." local restaurants cater and there is live music. it's a fundraiser for the zoo. then next saturday we're going to a friend's 30th birthday party. it's 80s themed, which is sooo not my favorite. the 80s is my least favorite decade, despite the fact that i was born in the 80s. i am going to feel so ugly dressed up in 80s clothes all night. i'm currently bidding on some hot pink leg warmers on ebay for $2. i don't know HOW i will make my hair into big 80s hair. my hair is the opposite of big. sometime later this month john and i will be carving pumpkins with my family! we went to the pumpkin patch this weekend and picked out our pumpkins. john had boiled peanuts for the first time and liked them! i'm dressing as a leopard for halloween because i found ears, a tail, and a bowtie in leopard print at target for $5. anyway, october should be a fun month.

a list. of 8 things.

i'm not even sure what i'm here to write about today. i just want to keep this blog updated better than I did the last time. i used to be such a faithful blogger! maybe i'll make a list for you...

1. i am hormonal and crazy this week. i'm ready for it to end.
   
2. i wish john could get better quicker. my mom says i have no room to complain.
   
3. i am so poor. and this month my paycheck starts getting cut for the 10 furlough days my county is giving us. i've never had to be such a penny pincher. last week i ate every piece of bread i had, even the hard ones at the end. usually i would just throw it away and get a new soft loaf. i also stopped buying organic milk. and i'm not even trying to buy healthy food because i might not eat it before it goes bad. so i'm only buying the things i know i'll eat.
   
4. elton's birthday is tomorrow. that's john's dog. he'll be six. i got him a present.
5. i started using my curling iron again recently. i had gone totally straightener, but i decided to try something new. it didn't go as hoped, but still okay.
   
6. i'm realizing i know so little about john's past relationships and wondering if that's a good or bad thing. i can be a very jealous girl. the one time he said something about an ex-girlfriend in a story, i felt like someone punched me in the stomach.
   
7. on monday nights i go to yoga, then to the store, then get dinner to-go from moe's. i like my routine. john likes routines too. currently our routine is to hangout on thursday nights watching project runway (we're pulling for mondo!), see each other after the game on fridays, have a date saturday night, and watch tv (now desperate housewives) on sunday nights. it's a vast difference from when i only saw him once a week.
   
8. i'm trying to work on how i might react to a change in this routine. like, if john decided he felt too tired to hang out on a thurs or saturday night. i would be so disappointed and my initial reaction would be to lay on the couch for long periods of time. that shouldn't be how it is though. i should just say okay and do something else, something else i enjoy. i don't think i'm there yet, but that's the goal.
   

that's all for now.

in the groove.

i kind of feel like i'm finally hitting my "groove" in albany. i love becoming more social and meeting people who are potential albany friends. i went to a birthday dinner last night at los vaqueros. i ended up sitting by a girl that i've seen at my yoga class before. she was actually one of the "birthday girls." she seemed really cool.

i am getting my house together finally. i painted my bedroom from green to a deep beige (called coffee for some strange reason) and i LOVE it! it looks so amazing. i'm so ready to get curtains hung, new blinds picked, art hung on the wall, etc. i also bought this thing to hang on the wall to organize all my necklaces. they're always in a tangle, so i end up not ever wearing them or wearing the ONE that i keep out of the tangle for a few months. i've decided i want to paint the hallway light gray. i think it would be really cool. not much of my furniture matches gray though, so i thought the hallway would be a good place for it. the hardest thing to decide on is the living room/dining room/kitchen. they're all pretty connected, but i don't know that i want to paint all of it one color. it's the main living space of the house, so i want it to look awesome- but i'm failing miserably. not only is it not cute but it smells like cat pee. andy's favorite spot to pee was underneath the large front windows.

my boyfriend has a recently diagnosed heart condition. he went to the doctor and the medicine is working, but he was disappointed to hear he'll be on medication forever. he's really down about all of this and it makes me feel like an inadequate girlfriend. i can't make him happy. and even though i know the depression and sadness is not about me, it's still hard on me. i want to make things all better and i can't.

i'm trying to work out my neediness by creating a life of my own that is about way more than a boyfriend. i feel like i'm making progress. but i'm a long way from normal.

make new friends, but keep the old. one is silver and the other gold.

i went out again last night. at 9 pm, when i'm usually getting in bed, i met up with some girls at the levee. the levee is this music place where they have lessons and classes and stuff, and they have live music on thursday night. sara, the leader of my small group last year and someone i've known forever, and her friends go there most thursdays. she told us about it on tuesday so i asked if i could meet up with them. it was pretty fun, but kind of too loud to actually make conversation. but i guess i'm making progress. the girls seem cool and down to earth, not like mean junior league girls. i guess these are "my people" as dr. kaiser would say. oh, and i'm going to dinner with a big group of people on tuesday night again. we're celebrating a few different people's birthdays @ los vaqueros. i was told i could invite john too, but he probably has band stuff. i can't believe how social i'm being. it's kind of crazy.

this weekend i'm going to paint my bedroom. i'm not looking forward to the work, but i'm looking forward to the outcome. i'm so tired of that ugly green that doesn't match my stuff. it should be a step towards making my house what i would actually like it to be.

my mom just sent me an email about the place we're going next weekend. it's the len foote inn. you have to hike to it. i'm so not excited. the website says no cell phones too!! they're already taking me away from john and now i can't even text him either! i'm sure he'll love the time off :(
i told my mom i was already planning to not have fun. mom says they're trying to work out going to the outlet mall while we're up in north ga. i guess that's an attempt to appease me. it might work. my next date with john isn't until september 18th! that makes me so sad!!! it better be a darn good date too. i'm gonna see john tonight after the football game. actually, i'll see him during the game because i'm going- but he won't see me. it's kind of like spying on him. i've only gone to one football game while dating him and it makes me feel sooooo proud. i feel like my heart will just burst out of my chest.

thou shalt not covet.

i went to a party this weekend. ok..stop..take a deep breath. yes, i know it's shocking- whitney at an actual social event in albany, georgia. but yes it did happen this sunday. there's a group of young professionals in albany called "emerge." a couple of acquaintances of mine are in it, one is a chairperson. i have been talking to her about trying out a new church and volunteering at her workplace, so she invited me to the party at her house. ok this girl is a few years younger than me and isn't in a high-paying position or anything but her house is AMAZING. i am now super-duper jealous and dying to make my house as cute as hers. it will never be as nice. hers has wood floors, crown molding, a pool, etc. i have no idea how she's affording it. but yes i could make my house a lot better than it is. so therefore, this weekend will be devoted to redoing my house! it's works out pretty good, because john is going up to visit his parents this weekend for labor day. i'm sad he's leaving me, but it will give me a chance to get some things done. we were supposed to have davis and harper this weekend too, but "the papers" say that genny has them for labor day. booo.

i was really down yesterday. some things that happened this weekend were a blow to my confidence and my neediness came crawling back into my life. like, going to the party. john had to practically beeeeg me to go because i was so freaking nervous. but i knew if i didn't go i would regret it, because i'm always complaining about not having friends. john really wants me to have some friends too because it's a lot of pressure for him to be my sole social outlet. so i went. but i felt kind of out of place because most of the people already knew each other. everybody was pretty nice, but i didn't feel like i had much to add and i don't think i made any "friends." i couldn't even go add anybody i met as a friend on facebook! john said it was a start and now i'll get invited next time they do something. i'm sure i'll get invited to "emerge" events because i'm on the email list now, but as far as just one friend inviting me to do something- not gonna happen. so, that made me feel depressed and made me miss my megin and cynthia. i was telling john how weird it is that i have no friends here, because with jamie, megin, and cynthia- i'm the leader! i'm the one everybody tells stuff to. i'm the tie that binds :) but here i feel like the ugly duckling. i like myself, and i think i have a lot of offer actually- but i can't seem to express it in a way that makes people want to befriend me. how did i ever get friends in the first place? john is really supportive and tries to counsel me through this friend thing. it's nice but it also makes me feel embarrassed.

so anyway yesterday evening i was feeling really down knowing that i wasn't going to see john much in the next few weeks (oh, did i mention that i'm going out of town NEXT weekend!). but i made myself go to yoga and i'm glad i did. alan, the teacher, tells us that this is our 50 minutes and nothing else in the world matters for those 50 minutes. and during that time i kept reminding myself that this is MY life. relationships may come a go, but i'll always be with myself so i better love it. i left yoga feeling like the needy-bug had left me.

love and life.

so, i might be in love. this is the easiest relationship i've ever been in. even when there is tension and we're having issues, it works out in a much calmer way. maybe it's just a change in me. i'm not who i was even 9 months ago. it makes me wonder how things would have worked out if i had been this way back in other relationships. i think life would have been very different. i sort of regret that i wasn't "normal' back then like i am now. i would like to see what my relationships would have been like with kendall and michael. but why look back? only look forward...

i'm getting really into my yoga class. i love monday nights. it makes me feel strong and healthy. i now believe it when i hear that exercise makes you healthier physically and mentally. i never imagined i would be one of those people who looks forward to going to the gym, but i do! i'm actually disappointed that my job at church (which starts again today) interferes with my step and lower cuts class on tuesdays. now i can only really go to yoga on mondays and step/upper cuts on thursdays. the rest of the days, if i go to the gym, i'll have to work out on my own. i found out that i don't push myself as hard as i could, because i work a lot harder during class.

my tapp coach is coming on thursday and i'm feeling a little stressed about it. he is a nice man but our last few talks have made me feel like a terrible person. i'm not looking forward to that. he's also going to watch me teach a lesson that i don't feel all that comfortable with. i taught it once yesterday and i have two more chances to get it right later today. it involves my students working in groups to write a rap and things can get wild and crazy when they're working together.

i also have angel choir starting tomorrow. i am trying to be a lot more organized to start out the year. i have already sent a postcard telling the parents they need to come register on the first night. that way i will have everybody's correct information and email address. i'm also going to have a sign-up sheet so that i have at least one parent with me each wednesday. that's to cover my butt for the safe sanctuary policy my church follows. so i have information cards and a signup sheet to make before tomorrow night, plus, um.. plan what we're going to do! i usually do it at the last minute but of course i want the first week to be really good!

the first westover football game is friday night. john is the director of their marching band, so i'll probably go to the game to support my love. but it means i don't get to spend that time with him. i don't even know if i'll see him after. we haven't talked about it yet. i do know that i'll see him tomorrow night and saturday at least. thinking about it makes me smile.

a change.

so you may have noticed that i've made a few changes to the blog. i've changed the purpose of this blog from updating on mine and cynthia's resolutions to just randomness about my life! i used to be such a good blogger on xanga. and on some other site before that.

since this blog is now about my life- let me update you on what's going on:

1. i've been dating john since january and things are going super well! i really really like him. i'm used to being in relationships where we fight and i pout a lot. dating john is not like that. i've never gone and slept on the couch while dating him :) he met my family a couple weeks ago and that went well, except i'm not sure how he felt about davis and harper. he's not used to being around kids. i'm not sure he really thought of them as PEOPLE.. if that makes sense. at the beginning of our relationship i was lucky to see him once a week and now i see him many times a week and we talk everyday. football/marching band season starts next week though, so our time on the weekends will be slightly more limited. there will be away game nights when he will be gone and i will have to find other things to do and other people to be with unless i want to stay home alone.
   
2. my social life, other than john, has not really improved as I want it to. it's hard.
   
3. work is good, but i don't always feel my opinions as a musician are respected.
   
4. mom says if i clean my whole house she will come over and help me make it look cuter. it's hard to have a clean house when you have a cat that pukes a lot. plus when i moved in there was a weird "house smell" that never went away and only got worse when andy started peeing on the carpet. so overall, owning a house is not all i hoped it would be. i had visions of such a beautiful house and i can't seem to make it happen. i'm trying though and i want to get there. i'm gonna start making a board of pictures of houses that i like and maybe that will help inspire me to fix up my own house. let me tell you, my house is nothing like the ones you see on hoarders or anything. i just wish it was cute!
   
5. my sister moved to boone, nc to be closer to her boyfriend, who is also named john. we have never met him. they're very into the outdoors. they scuba dive and go sailing. i'm sad she moved even farther away from us and i'll see her even less often. when i went to houston i had to drive on the freeway, so now that i'm a master driver, maybe i can drive up to visit her. my mom has lost over 30 lbs. my dad keeps telling me he's gonna die in the next 10 years. davis is officially spoiled and harper has a teenager attitude at age 3. my brother is still single and crazy. my grandmother is just happy to have finally met john after asking for a year. --- that's my family

well gang, i guess that's the update for today. i will be giving you more randomness to enjoy as the weeks go by.

i'm still here.

hello! sorry i have been so unfaithful to this blog. but i'm excited to report that i've lost 6 1/2 lbs. my diet has changed slightly, but i think the weight loss is mostly from going to the gym way way more often.

i'm so happy with life right now. but ready for summer!

life is great! i am so thankful.


just wanted you to know

:)

baby steps.

sorry i have been so slack about keeping this thing updated. i used to be such a good blogger! anyway my motivation to go to the gym has been off and on. the times that i've gone have made me feel really good and i've even gone when i REALLY didn't feel like it... but then sometimes life gets in the way when i plan to go and i don't make it there. basically i haven't lost any weight. my dad says i should lose 25 lbs. i set my goal at 15, so i don't know what to think. i ate a double doozie at the mall last night and he got mad at me. i signed up to take a ballet class. that should be interesting.

it has been hard to save money lately but i did save my $50 for January, plus half of the money my grandmother gave me. The rest stayed in my checking account to pay for unexpected bills.

i went to my first appointment with my therapist on thursday. it went really, really well. she had a lot of good ideas about getting me to be more social and motivated. albany is a really hard town to be single in. it doesn't help that my church has nothing going on for people my age. there are a few couples at my church that are my age, but no single people. there's another church in town that does have a more active 20's group that i may try to get involved with. i've gone out with people a few times since the breakup so it's been fun to have something to do other than stay home all weekend. my therapist had a lot of good ideas. i just hope i have the motivation and will to act on them. i am disappointed that she couldn't schedule me for another appointment until next month though.

so i guess that last paragraph was really an update on both the "make friends" resolution and the "stop being crazy" resolution.

basically, i'm making baby steps in all of my resolutions and i'm getting my life together. i'm trying to focus more on myself than boys but i'm not always successful.

poor unfortunate news.

well... i guess i should report that michael dumped whitney, so we're no longer reporting on his resolutions. as far as keeping up with my resolutions go, i'd say the break-up has been a setback. i did start going back to the gym, but i haven't been again since we broke up... mainly because i've been getting back in the swing of FFGO and Terrific Tuesday (my second job on monday and tuesday afternoons) and it's been too freaking cold to go back out at night! excuses, i know. and yes i'm about to eat a red velvet cake. so maybe my "lose 15 lbs" goal is on the back burner for now!

i am going to start seeing a counselor so start unpacking some of these issues i have. i'm really setting my focus on becoming a WHOLE person and not a dependent person. and yes i wanted this to help my relationship with michael, but it's just as important to keep growing now that we're broke up. whether we get back together or not, i need to find healing.

saving money- i signed up for "keep the change."

make friends- no progress.

whitney's update

well, what can i say? so far i feel unsuccessful at following my resolutions.

1. weight loss? no i have not worked out. michael and i ate out twice yesterday. however, i did not have icecream when the group went out last night.
   
2. don't be crazy? MAJOR fail. i cry everyday.
   
3. make friends? well, michael and i went on a triple date last night, but i felt like it accomplished nothing for me. i really felt like an outsider and didn't feel like i made any progress on developing real friendships.
4. save money? hmmm well, i haven't bought anything, but i haven't put any money in the bank either. i guess i'm neutral on this one.
   

i am so freaking stressed about these resolutions. they are serious life-changing things that i want, but i feel helpless at attaining. to make matters worse, michael is planning to take parts of the CPA exam this month and next month, so our time together is extremely limited. this makes my craziness skyrocket. how does this affect my other resolutions? i'll probably eat and not work out because i'm depressed, i never go out with people w/o michael, and i like to spend money on clothes to make me feel better. wow.

i hope my next update is less depressing. encouragement accepted.

2010 Resolutions

the creation of this blog was inspired by three amazing individuals sitting around the breakfast table on january 1, 2010 discussing their resolutions for the new year. this blog will be used to inspire and encourage those three to keep their resolutions in focus.

resolutions for 2010

whitney:
1. lose 15 lbs in the next 6 months
2. stop being a crazy, needy girl
3. make friends
4. sign up for "keep the change" savings account/ save $50 a month

michael:
1. pass the CPA exam by june
2. run a 5k in 22 minutes
3. buy matching furniture for the house, approved by whitney
4. buy a new car in CASH

cynthia:
1. lost 15 lbs by the end of june
2. ask a man out once a month
3. spend 30 minutes in scripture study every morning (with the exception of saturday)
4. save $2400

all three:
spend new year's with each other annually until death.